I gotta get out of here, and I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you to be my escape...
Sam. He apologized. We're texting as I type this. It's a great feeling, yet I feel like I need to puke. I'm a lot better than I was twenty minutes ago when he first messaged me. I feel like a little kid again. :)
I just worry about getting hurt again. I don't want that to happen. Can I trust him? (I'm worried that with being sleep deprived and unable to form more than 3 coherent responses in a 5 minute span that I wouldn't be able to see a lie if he threw one in my face.)
Puking sounds nice. I think tomorrow I'm going to tell you all about tknight, minus Sam.
Laterrr.
-Megan:?
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Timshel
But you are not alone in this, you are not alone in this, as brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand...
I guess I put it all out on the table today. You know everything. Everything that has gotten to me, and how much ignoring me and making me fail hurts.
You know everything about me. That scares me.
We were talking about school, and then I felt myself about to cry.
We talked about school for forever, and then you changed it to the notebook. The notebook that holds my biggest secret.
I will admit, I hate the sound of my own voice, especially when I'm crying. And yes, I was crying. I cried a lot today.
I feel like I want to trust you, but I hate to talk about it sometimes. I've been dreading talking about it, because it is so serious, and it really does get to me.
And then you made me clean.
But now I have a secret that you'll never know.
My secrets have taken their toll on me, but I can't let it get to me. When it gets to me, I can't do anything.
I honestly miss him. But I'm quite afraid of him, he has a power that somehow controls me. I heard his voice today, and just wanted to stand there and listen, and hold on to every word, which I got to do for a second, because of the super crowded hallways.
I miss everything we used to do together. I miss the way we'd make him jealous, and piss him off. I would give anything for those days. ANYTHING.
I'd give up my future just to have him in my life again.
I guess I'm feeling lovesick, which is normal for a teenager that's been single for 10 months. At least I hope it counts as normal.
I want to be in his first period. All my friends are in there, and, of course, so is he. I wonder if he'd start talkig to me again if we had classes together. I wonder how things would have turned out if Alice hadn't gotten in the way of everything. If she had ignored you for two more days, we'd be happy together. And she wants to go off on me?! I never once gave up on him...
Blehh. I just want to sleep now. And since it's 11:30, I probably should.
Friday. <3 I'm going to come home, sleep, and not wake up except to eat and pee.
I already decided(:
-Love,,Megan O:
I guess I put it all out on the table today. You know everything. Everything that has gotten to me, and how much ignoring me and making me fail hurts.
You know everything about me. That scares me.
We were talking about school, and then I felt myself about to cry.
We talked about school for forever, and then you changed it to the notebook. The notebook that holds my biggest secret.
I will admit, I hate the sound of my own voice, especially when I'm crying. And yes, I was crying. I cried a lot today.
I feel like I want to trust you, but I hate to talk about it sometimes. I've been dreading talking about it, because it is so serious, and it really does get to me.
And then you made me clean.
But now I have a secret that you'll never know.
My secrets have taken their toll on me, but I can't let it get to me. When it gets to me, I can't do anything.
I honestly miss him. But I'm quite afraid of him, he has a power that somehow controls me. I heard his voice today, and just wanted to stand there and listen, and hold on to every word, which I got to do for a second, because of the super crowded hallways.
I miss everything we used to do together. I miss the way we'd make him jealous, and piss him off. I would give anything for those days. ANYTHING.
I'd give up my future just to have him in my life again.
I guess I'm feeling lovesick, which is normal for a teenager that's been single for 10 months. At least I hope it counts as normal.
I want to be in his first period. All my friends are in there, and, of course, so is he. I wonder if he'd start talkig to me again if we had classes together. I wonder how things would have turned out if Alice hadn't gotten in the way of everything. If she had ignored you for two more days, we'd be happy together. And she wants to go off on me?! I never once gave up on him...
Blehh. I just want to sleep now. And since it's 11:30, I probably should.
Friday. <3 I'm going to come home, sleep, and not wake up except to eat and pee.
I already decided(:
-Love,,Megan O:
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