I Hope You Find It

I hope that you get this message that I'm leaving for you, cause I hate that you left without hearing the words that I needed you to, and I hope you find it, what you're looking for, and I hope its everything you dreamed your life could be and so much more, and I hope you're happy where ever you are, I wanted you to know that, and nothing's gonna change that, and I hope you find it...

I feel as though I haven't posted in about twenty years. Eff. That. But really, I didn't have anything to say.
I'm over Sam. And no guy really seems interesting to me except for rockstars and stuff like that.
I could never date a rockstar. But honestly, since I'm not boy crazy at the moment, there isn't much to talk about. I missed a day of school and have a ton of homework to make up, and that's pretty much it. Nothing else has happened.
I have to wake up at 5 tomorrow to babysit. That's something new.
Seriously. Without guys, my life is boring. And I have nothing to talk about. Which makes me think that I'm totally lame.
I AM LAME BECAUSE I HAVE NO LIFE.
I guess that's just how I am. :D
I really, really, really, really, really wanna write a story, but I don't know what about.
Should it be about love? Money? SEX?!
Nah. Sex would be weird and gross to write about. But really, I have nothing to write about and it bothers me.
My english teacher changed our seats again, and I don't sit at the end of a table, and I'm stuck between two people I don't like. That's just great.
My tummy keeps growling, and I think it's because I didn't have much for dinner.
Dinner was not good. Not that the food wasn't good or anything, I just didn't want food. I hate that feeling of being hungry but not wanting food, because, really, there is no reason not to want food when you're hungry. Am I crazy? Did we already know that? Have a touched a baby's hair? Yes. The answer to all of those questions is yes. I mean, who HASN'T touched a baby's hair? Weird people, that's who. And not even the good weird people. The weird weird people. They can get scary sometimes.
Romeo, Romeo, Where for art thou, Romeo?
I would like a Romeo and Juliet love story. Without the death.
My english teacher is becoming the bad kind of crazy to me, because almost all the stories he's had us read involves death, which is a very touchy subject for me. I almost cried in english today because I was tired, didn't feel good, and the story we were reading said death.
Dear English Teacher,
DEATH IS NOT A GOOD THING.
Can we please not talk about it anymore?
Thanks.

So, guess what?
Terrance. I like that kid. But not like that. We tried it before. It didn't work. But we're awesome friends. :D
Oh, and Hostess. I hate how she always is putting herself down. Just because you like someone you aren't supposed to doesn't mean that you're a bad person, it means that your heart knows that you shouldn't but you need to. I think that's what I'm trying to say. And all her APUSH homework is going to drive ME insane. She has no time outside of school to talk to anyone, because she is always doing schoolwork! I miss our late night talks, just the two of us.

I'm not saying I don't like being with Sunshine, Snuzzle, and Mustang, too, but it's becoming too much. I can't handle being with the same "group" of girls constantly. I need some time for just me and my friends, by ourselves. I need to find a new best friend I can hang out with, it seems like. If I want someone to talk to, just me and them, I have to find someone else, and I don't like that feeling. That feeling sucks, and I never want to feel that. I've lost so many friends since the end of the schoolyear, and I'm still recovering.

I used to hang with Sam all the time, that's gone.
I used to hang with Abby, that's gone.
I used to hang with Tasha, that's gone.
And then there's Kortney, Wynter, Christian, Jourdan, Allison, Erin, Samantha, Chelsea, Jayke, Cheyenne, Cheyanne, Christal, Christina, Becca, Tyler, Tyler, Tristan, Wyatt, Wyatt, Nate, Sarah, and more, but that's all pretty much gone. I feel like I've got no one anymore, and it's all annyoing, and it's making me feel bad for myself which is just as annoying. Can I "borrow" someone's young baby sometime? I feel like I need the love... O.O
There I go, crying over past times again. That isn't going to help me move on. At all.
I just realized it is around 10:30, I have to wake up at 5, and I've already been up since 6.
Tomorrow will be an adventure.
Mucho gracias,
Megann
(I couldn't decide on a face to put here...)