The Heart Wants What It Can't Have.
Okay, well, I'm quite new to this, but I felt it was greatly needed.
This is where I will come to tell everyone about how much life sucks, how awesome it is, or however I'm feeling at the moment of posting.
Here is my first offical topic: BOYS.
Boys. You love them. You hate them. You call them names, frankly because you're afraid of them. Not in a literal sense, but you are always scared to know what they think of you, if they like you, or, maybe, you acctually are terrified of boys. It's nothing that they've done. Or, maybe it is.
Story time:
I have this friend. No. scratch that. I HAD this friend. We were best friends. To be honest, I liked him. A lot. He was one of those guys that no one really likes, but somehow, you find him to be the most amazing person ever. Anyways, we'll call him Sam, for the sake of not telling people his real name.
Anyways, Sam and I were best friends. He would always make me feel better when I was down, or make me laugh when I wanted to cry. All my friends hated him, and I think the reason was that they were jealous of what me and Sam had. Me and Sam got in a fight during Spring Break last school year. It blew over for the most part until the end of the year, and once summer hit, I couldn't help but think of all the things I wanted to do with Sam, and how much fun we'd have doing it together. I also couldn't help but think about how the summer might just be our time to fall in love. But we never talked anymore. No texts. No calls. No facebook chats. Nothing. I found out that Sam had started dating Alice [I really didn't like Alice for calling me and telling me to back off of Sam when it was obvious that she didn't want him...] So Sam is dating Alice. I knew I should've been happy for him, but I wasn't. I was selfish, and in my rage, we ended up not talking. Again. He deleted me from his friends list, and I couldn't help but cry. All summer, I cried when I could, which was quite often.
Once school started again, I thought I could talk to Sam, face to face, and work everything out like we used to. He HATES me. We have a mutual friend, Terrance. [Please keep in mind that I am not using real names, and also, I'm really bad at coming up with fake ones...] Terrance always tells me that Sam asks about me, in ways that aren't always the best, but he still asks. Today, Terrance told me that Sam wanted to know why I like him so much. He said it seemed like the more mad I got at him, the more I wanted him. All I could think of was Romeo and Juliet. [So english class does come in handy in everyday life....] Her only love was sprung from her only hate. Thats all I could think of.
Does the heart always want what it can't have?
Let's think about it:
-You want to be rich and famous. Why? Because you can't be.
-You want to live a happy life. Why? Because no matter what there will still be heartbreak.
-You want that new CD at the store. Why? Maybe because you like the music, but mostly because you don't have the money for luxuries like that.
I think that's the reason I like Sam so much. He really doesn't want me, so that makes me want him more. It's a terrible fate, but it has happened. I might miss him every once in awhile, I might want that CD, I might also want to be rich and famous, but that's not an option, and I've decided to make the most of it.
I realize this is a really long post, and if you have stuck around long enough to be reading this part, I thank you very dearly. It means the world to me.
xoxo,
Megan<3
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